Saying “See you Later” to your Future Soldier

My husband and I had only been married for a month and a half when he left for basic training. That is also the amount of time we lived together. Our entire relationship, dating and engagement, was spent long distance. I knew the distance was not going to be the issue during this time...it was going to be the lack of communication. Going from being able to talk to each other every day to not knowing when or if I will hear from him. This is what I knew I would struggle with the most. He is the one I want to tell everything to, and I would soon find out that letters are a girl's best friend.  

I won't ever forget the day he left. It was one of the toughest days in my life so far. We hugged, we kissed, and we laughed. It felt like a blur but also like time was standing still. As I watched him walk into the airport, we shared one last smile and a wave goodbye. I got into my car and completely lost it. I cried so hard I could barely breathe. I knew this wouldn’t be the last time I cried, but I hoped that I wouldn’t ever cry this hard again. It was weird to go home alone. It felt empty. I felt alone. I can’t say that this day for anyone is “easy.” Everyone feels a sort of hurt and emptiness when their soldier leaves. 

I’m not sure if I should say luckily or not, since he flew to Georgia, I was able to text him throughout his flights. When he landed in Atlanta, I got one last call. This is a phone call I won’t forget. I was at my friend's house because she refused to leave me by myself until bedtime. I was overjoyed to hear his voice. As our phone call came to an end, I did my best to choke down my tears knowing I wanted him to think I was okay. I did a shit job. I cried. I could hear his voice start to crack and I knew I needed to get my shit together. I've never said “I love you” so much in one phone call, but I wanted him to know and never forget how much I love him.  

I will tell you what...that first week was brutal. I barely slept, I had zero energy, and I just wasn’t me. I wasn’t me because she was gone. I was now and will forever be a wife to an Army soldier. I quickly learned that dwelling on our time apart was not how I was going to get through the 22 weeks. Everyone around me told me to just stay busy and the time would fly. Is that advice I would give to someone else in this situation? Yes and no. Yes, stay busy in the sense of don’t give up your hobbies or your work ethic or your friendships. No, you don’t have to be go go go all of the time. You are allowed to rest and recover. You are allowed to feel sad and miss your soldier. Without those things you will crash.  

All these things pushed me through his time at Basic Training. Was every day easy? No. Was every day hard? No. Each day was its own. I like to think that Army wives are soldiers with invisible rank. We may not go through the physical, tactical, or combative training they do, but we go through our own training. Training on how to be a rock, a supporter, and their number one fan. Your soldier will be thanked for their service, but you will stay invisible. So, from one strong woman to another – thank you. Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for going through the days that felt like they would never end. Thank you for allowing your loved one to fight for this country.  

Your soldier will tell you how they couldn’t have done it without you, and they mean it. So, keep training. Keep being strong. But do not forget to be gentle with yourself. You can’t be strong all the time and that is okay. I know saying see you later is not easy. But take comfort in knowing that you can do this. Comfort in knowing that the days will get easy, and the time will fly. This is the beginning of our journey in supporting a great man. Be his rock. Be his support.  

I believe in you and so does he.